Hint 256: Evade Inspections by Gargling Gravel

So this cold apparently wants to hold on until I am old and gray. I just can't kick it. It seems like every day it's a new symptom in this carnival ride of viral hell. What I wouldn't give for a throat transplant... for one that didn't feel like I just swallowed broken glass or gravel. There is only so many Halls you can suck on before your tongue feels like it's gonna fall off and yer on a menthol high floating high up in the clouds somewhere. It doesn't help that several times this week I have had to stay up really late... and haven't gotten any sleep.

We started cleaning our house on Wednesday. We knew our nazi landlords were coming on Friday to inspect (something they do every other month), and we wanted to get an early start. Well, we didn't get as big of a jump on things as we had hoped. Thursday night came around, and I was dead on my feet. This cold is kicking my ass. I stayed up til 4am cleaning this and that, and trying not to fall over cuz I was so dizzy. Not to mention that when yer cleaning a shower, HOT FLASHES SUCK!!

So anyway, I finally tell my husband that I can no longer stand up, and I have to go to bed. So he stays up until 6am cleaning more. (these people are sticklers and we always have to wait to clean at the last moment cuz otherwise the beautiful little people here I call my darling children go and mess it all up again.)

10am rolls around and my hubby wakes me up "They are gonna be here soon, you better wake up." He goes to the bathroom. Then, I hear the doorbell ring. SEVEN FREAKING TIMES. I think she musta accidentally superglued her finger to the button and kept falling against the house trying to get it off there. JEEZ. Like the first 2 or 5 times weren't enough. She is worse than a 3 year old. *making a mental note to disable that sucker for the next time she superglues her ass to my doorbell*

I walk to the door, looking like death warmed over... and I am pissy cuz I didn't get any sleep. Not to mention I am sicker than a freaking dog... and I just wanna be sleeping.

"I would appreciate it if you would only ring the doorbell ONE time. I can hear it when you only ring it once. My kids are sometimes taking naps or still sleeping when you get here, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't wake them up." I had a scowl on my face and was in no mood to dance around the way I felt about her.
"Still sleeping?!?!?!" She is in total amazement. Maybe just cuz her freakish ass gets up with the freaking sun she can't comprehend that some people sleep until 10am. Especially if they were just up til 4am.
"If you can't tell by my voice, I am really sick, and I have been trying to rest as much as possible." My voice sounded like I had just gargled with gravel, and she looked at me as if it hurt her to listen to me talk.

Then what does she do?? She slams the glass door in my face, and proceeds to talk to me thru the glass, "We will just skip your unit then, and come back next time." The Exterminator slipped past me like if he might brush against me it meant that he would die a horrible death. They both looked at me like I was suffering from some deadly plague... and how dare I expose their precious bodies.

So we stayed up for the whole freaking night for nothing. She didn't even step foot in my house. Guess I will remember this trick and store it for another day.