Hermie Genocide

I am a room mom for my kids' school. Well, I was until they had to relocate clear out in BFE so they could remodel the school... so now I miss out on that stuff cuz it's too far away to walk. Anyway, I WAS a room mom. And next year I will be too. Nothing like 30 riled up kindergartener/1st graders who are hopped up on jellybeans and cupcakes to make you feel like yer in need of adding on another room at your house... a RUBBER one. In a way it makes my four kids look like a trip to Disneyland (*note: not the same Disneyland as mentioned previously in this blog. LOL*)

Anyway, for show and tell, one of the little girls in the class brought her Hermit Crabs. They were in a big cage and she probably had about 10 of them. Painted like ladybugs, soccer balls, and other bright and colorful things. Suddenly I was compelled to buy my kids a pet that could possibly pinch their fingers off. I NEEDED to get hermies for my kids. Lots of Ladybugs, and Nemos, and Soccerballs with pinchers. Now all I had to do was con my husband into thinking that these glorified bugs with pinchers would make for a great family pet. Great for cuddling with and all that good stuff.

Anyway, getting my husband to say yes was easier than picking the damn things out at the store. There were so many of them. And I wanted to get the perfect ones for the kiddos. I got an arrangement of small and large hermies, and we ended up with lots of crabbies of a multitude of colors. THIS is what the first herd of Hermies looked liked (or should it be pack? or something else).

The big tiger striped one we named Speedy. He was the biggest one, and my favorite. HERE is a pic of him upclose. He totally kicked ass.

I used to let him crawl all over my shoulders, and he hung out with my on my keyboard. He was really friendly, and I was only pinched once, and that was my fault. We took him out during a party, and the music was really loud, and I think he was startled. Damn, getting pinched by a hermie hurts like a bitch.

As you can tell by the past-tense he is no longer with us. I bought a rogue crab from the petstore and he brought mites home with him. I tried desperately to save my dear Speedy, but to no avail... he kicked the crabbie bucket. I cried for the rest of the night. He was my friend.

After Speedy passed on it seemed like the rest of them just missed him so much that they couldn't live without him. We had a plague or something hit our house and they started leaving for Crabbie heaven one by one faster than Calista Flockhart passes up a steak. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to keep these damn things alive. Jeez.

So after buying several replacement crabs, I decided enough was enough... and we stopped buying them. I had one hermie that had an antisocial personality and he was killing all of the hermies that lived in the same cage as him. Finally he had killed them all. We figured either he was a serial killer... or a true hermit and he wanted to be left alone. Who am I to deny a crab his wish. So we never bought him anymore hermie friends, and he lived out his life happily by himself. Until tonight.

We found him in his shell and his eyes had no color anymore, I thought maybe it was cuz he was cold, so I got some warm water for him, and put him in it... but to no avail. He was absolutely lifeless. I pulled on his pincher to see if I could get him to try to pinch me, but it fell off. Our last crabbie had kicked the bucket. I was sad... but not sad like when I lost Speedy.

So anyway, several hours pass and the kids come running into the living room "Mom, Mom, another crab grew into the shell... we found him in the bucket of water in the bathroom." I am thinking to myself... yeah right, they don't GROW BACK. And they hand me the shell, and sure enough, there is a crab in there. and it had black eyes (unlike the clear eyes from before). The FREAKING CRAB MOLTED, and I just didn't even think about it until now. So he was never dead... but after being submerged in water laced with Pinesol he sure wasn't alive anymore. I was soooooooooooooo sad. I can't believe he had to die that way. What a horrible way to die. Drowning in Pinesol. My children had committed Hermie Genocide.

So now we are crabless. My Sister-in-Law's gerbil just had babies. We were thinking about getting a couple. Hoping maybe we could keep these buggers alive a little bit longer.