Frozen with Fear

So my husband is very excited that I have now cleared the diabetes test, and I have went for my pap, and now he wants to start trying for a baby. I am still nervous. Extremely nervous.

We were so close to trying the other night, and at the very last minute I asked him to put a condom on. He about lost it. I cried myself to sleep. I don't know what to do. I am terrified to have another baby. My husband was so frustrated he slept on the couch. We haven't had unprotected sex since before Lexie was born. Yes.. we used a condom when I was pregnant because the smell of his ummm... yeah, I am sure you get the point, made me wanna toss my lunch. When a woman is pregnant suddenly things she loves suddenly smell weird, favorite foods make her stomach turn, and she craves the weirdest stuff. Well, one of the side effects of being pregnant the last time was not being able to handle the smell of his, let's call it "manliness". Poor guy... I thought he was gonna kill me after 9 mos. Atleast with a condom I didn't smell it as much. So, I can sympathize. We are married, monogomous, very much in love, and he still has to wear a baggie.

So I don't know what I am gonna do to get over it, but I am ovulating right now.... and he is playing video games, so I doubt I will be squeezing another 8 pounder out in 9 mos. Maybe we can try for 10 mos from now? *sigh* I wish I could get over this. I would love to have another baby. I am just frozen with fear.